In Pieces

I think I should just admit it. I feel like a failure as a parent. I've homeschooled my kids for several years. Which sort of feels like confessions of civil war.
Now that all five of my kids are going to private school, I've been able to see the areas that I seriously let them down. I'm not the sharpest pencil in the box, and I have my blond moments, but I thought I was holding my own. And perhaps against the public school system I was, but not this school.
Justin is having stress seizures without blacking out. It's kinda like he's coherent one minute and the next, if you ask him what color his shirt is, he'll say " 7!"

Bethany has dyslexia. Which, to anyone who has a child like this, is one of the most frustrating things imaginable. (Spell the word "four"..... fore, for, fuor, fr, fer, orf, erof, four.

Dulcey has a smashed finger, thanks to Cody. Which looks horrific, and may need more treatment than just a bandaid. (we'll see)

Anna-Claire has a finger that is so bad, she's lost most the flesh off of the tip and half of the nail. I've made her soak it twice a day (crocodile tears), and neosporin and it still looks gruesome.

As for me, I've been in the ER, I'm in pain, and now I'm pretending it's all been just a bad dream. I'm cranky, and irritable, and I've spent half of the grocery bill on gas just to trek across town several miles to pick up and drop off one child or three or two, or whoever is suppose to be getting in my car.
I feel like a new mother again. You know that moment when you bring your first child home from the hospital and it's like 11pm and you're exhausted and the kid looks at you and you look at it and think "Well.... what now?"

I just want to cry.

PUSH IT!

As you all know, Luke and I embarked on a dash that took us through an obstacle course, blood infested mud, fire and all three miles of it at a breath sucking elevation of roughly 10,000 ft elevation.
Okay, so the beginning wasn't so bad... the junkyard (jumping over cars) was kind of a joke but still fun. The hay bales weren't the hay bales I had in my head- super easy. Hell's hills were exactly that... and wow, there was just no real way to run it the entire stretch (since you can't freaking breathe!!!!) But once I hit the downhill, it was actually easy. Like skiing downhill, I just let gravity take me and coasted the whole way down. The "6ft wall" I had been so nervous about was actually a series of 3 3ft walls. (To which I slung my foot over and saddled).
Now, I'm not saying it was easy. But it very well could've been done by anyone. I could've princess pranced the whole freaking thing. There were old ladies with "titanic survivor" t-shirts that could walk this sucker. Yeah, the mud is gonna make you get down and dirty, and the walk the plank is no freakin joke (you fall, you're gonna break something- hopefully not vital), but I really thought it was gonna be more of a challenge.
Now, don't get me wrong. I was definitely sore the next couple of days. Ironically in the one and only place I don't like to workout. I like my calves. They're not firm, they're tiny, and they have a perfect curve. That said... they're completely useless. And they were screaming at me all week.

So, this week. As I've completely recovered from warrior dash, a good friend of mine. The one and only, Kathy, who convinced me to do the warrior dash in the first place.... gives me this website.
A website that makes the warrior dash, the medal I earned, the t-shirt I bought, and the photos I took, look like a freaking theme park ride as Disneyland!!!!!!!
So... of course, I'm doing the warrior dash again next August.... but....


I'm doing the TOUGH MUDDER in July! (average finish time 2.5 hrs)http://toughmudder.com/info/


The thing about it is..... it benefits wounded soldiers. Like I said in my Monday motto.... "do it even though it's hard, cause there's always someone who wishes they could" Yeah, it's gonna hurt, and take a lot of energy and I'm gonna wanna quit at some point, but I'm going to finish this... because I know I can and I've been blessed enough to have the ability.

Time to step up that 3.5 mile run, 50 burpees a day, thank you bodypump training 10 hour days, BRING ON THE PAIN!!!!!